“Courage is …to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.”
-Dr. Brené Brown’s lecture
I’ve tried to write this post several times in the past month. It started with a breakup. It took a detour with an empowering video I watched today on Youtube that essentially says the people that feel the most loved and connected are also the ones that embrace vulnerability. Even writing that word has a level of difficulty to it.
When I first started this experiment, I thought truly living had to do with making each moment count in big ways. Travel. Trying new fun things (like I did the other day with trampoline dodge ball). Exciting adventures. New vistas. Action-packed life!
I’m realizing that the moments I feel most alive are when I’m opening my heart to someone. Or when I’m taking a risk. Or when I confess my deepest fears. Those are the moments that take real courage. They can be absolutely terrifying but also incredibly freeing. What’s more, I’m learning that when I let my guard down, people surprise me in the most beautiful and loving ways.
Photo taken by me
My most recent relationship opened my heart wide open. The last time that happened I was 19 and the easiest way of dealing with it was to numb out and unconsciously set my heart on autopilot, “coasting” through most of my 20′s. I don’t need to do that again. Instead, I can embrace my vulnerability (gulp), trusting that my heart will take me exactly where I need to go.
Hey Jacky,
Beautiful written. I must say you are absolutely true in theory. I am wondering myself now how to put this theory into practice. For me this is working from time to time, but not everyday, or every minute during the day.
Sometimes I am surprised by the way time is taking control over myself. I mean, last week after taking a shower, I put my towel over my head, while doing that, I realized that it was the first time since “long” that I have had time to myself. Can you imagine?
For me the best method is to regulary evaluate myself. Taking care of myself, turning the laptop off, tv off and just relax and over think a period of time.
In the end, I am sure that it is not about perfection in life. For me it is all about enjoying where you are in the moment, whatever what the situation is like. Feel that you are alive.
That’s it for me.
Talk soon,
Rob
By: rob on December 7, 2010
at 12:15 AM
Thanks for writing, Rob! So much of life is enjoying those moments as you were talking about. I also think that we get so caught up in busyness just for the sake of being busy, that we have those moments you were describing with the towel, where we stop and ask ourselves, “What am I doing?” or “When was the last time I had a moment to myself?” Making time for those moments is important. I guess life is kind of messy and all the more beautiful for it!
By: Jacqueline on December 7, 2010
at 12:32 PM
Beautifully written! I’m with you on that… it’s those moments when you truly share yourself that define life! Adventures, parties or even quiet moments… there’s no right place or time… they just happen and are the most beautiful ever!
Wishing you all the best as you grow with and out of this relationship.
By: sonal chopra on December 7, 2010
at 12:23 AM
Thank you, Sonal! I really appreciate you continuing to read and for posting your kind words. All my best to you as well!
By: Jacqueline on December 7, 2010
at 12:33 PM
Dear JAckie,
Beautifully written, and even more beautifully felt. Amen! Life is pulsing and unfolding for you. I’m sorry to read of the break up, but so thankful to realize that you are choosing to stay open to the gift of life and the – when the time is right – new people who will want to be a part of it. You are lovely in so many ways.
My grandmother used to say “Every top has a pot” meaning that we are built to have some particular person in our life romantically. I will be praying that you and your “top” will find each other exactly when the moment is right.
Till we speak….
Peace,
Margaret
By: Margaret Schwarzer on December 7, 2010
at 7:39 AM
Thank you as always, Margaret, for your sweet and caring words. You always have a way to say exactly what I (and so many others) need to hear. You are a true healer, and I am grateful to know you!
By: Jacqueline on December 7, 2010
at 12:36 PM
I was so excited to see a post from you this morning! Great post, well written and an all out excellent point. Thank you… gulp…. I think I am standing on the verge of opening myself more….. big gulp….
I hear you on that being something that triggers an alive feeling more than many other things…. it is so beautiful when it happens.
have a most lovely day,
Currie
By: Currie Rose on December 7, 2010
at 7:57 AM
Thanks Currie! That means a lot, especially coming from you. Your posts inspire me and make me think about things in a different way as well. You mentioned in one of your posts about looking for your tribe or your group. I know that feeling, and at least for me, I see you as a kindred spirit on this road of self discovery and passion for life.
By: Jacqueline on December 7, 2010
at 12:39 PM
Love it! I also meant to share this with you on the phone. http://www.itgetsbetter.org/ “It Gets Better” project. After watching the Ted video I was still sad and upset at myself for not being “healed” and moved on already. Jess told me about the “It Gets Better” project. It’s geared towards gay teens but the message is wonderful for everyone. Anytime you are going through a rough patch just remember it gets better. The Dan Savage youtube on this is good.
By: Andrea Mueller on December 7, 2010
at 11:09 AM
Thanks lady! You seem to be my inspirational muse lately for my blog posts! I’ll be sure to check out that website. Sounds cool.
By: Jacqueline on December 7, 2010
at 12:40 PM
I watched the video. It was excellent! Great post to. Thanks for sharing. I could have used this information thirty years ago, but then again maybe I wouldn’t have been ready for it. It’s right up my alley now. Thanks again.
By: Marianne on December 7, 2010
at 5:52 PM
Glad to hear that you liked the video and post, Marianne! Thanks for reading and commenting!
By: Jacqueline on December 8, 2010
at 9:45 AM
Thank you very much for sharing the video link. It was very interesting and inspiring to watch. I like all of Rene Brown’s work, so it was great to hear more about her research. Embracing my vulnerability has lead to some amazing changes in my life, I would ‘recommend’ it to everyone
It is not easy to do, but it transforms everything. Good luck on your path!
By: l0ve0utl0ud on April 21, 2011
at 1:51 PM
Hi there,
Your perspective on courage is what brought me here in the first place today.
Somehow, it strikes a cord deep inside my heart and I could not resist it. I myself have been wildly spiritual even since I was growing up.
Would like to connect with you in Facebook.
Much love for your blog—-Jayita Bhattacharjee
By: Jayita Bhattacharjee on June 14, 2011
at 4:55 PM
[...] learned and gained from this ongoing experiment in living is to be open and vulnerable (see The V Word) with others.I’m deeply grateful to everyone for listening and commiserating on questions we [...]
By: Writing Your Life Part 2 « 6 Months to Live: The Experiment Continues on January 29, 2012
at 9:39 PM